back to Wedding Embassy Yearbook
[The following pages are a transcription of the Wedding Embassy Yearbook, printed by Embassy Publishing Company for Garfinckels. This hardcover book worked as both a promotional item for the wedding business at Garfinckels, as well as a manual of wedding etiquette and customs. the book has been divided up into major chapters as presented in the book, along with illustrations from the original text. Please keep in mind that prices and money mentioned in the book (such as what to pay clergymen, etc.) are stated in 1955 rates.]
These busy days preceding your wedding will be among the happiest days of your life. Make the most of them. Love every minute of being the center of attention -- and accept with gracious enthusiasm all expressions of devotion and interest from your family, friends and acquaintances will heap upon you.
Announcing the Engagement.
The bride's parents may announce the good news of the engagement at a party. If such a party is not given, the news is conveyed personally to close friends, relatives and associates by noted, telephone or telegram before the engagement is announced through the press. Exactly how far ahead of the wedding day the engagement is announced to the public is the bride and her parents decision and depends somewhat on local custom. Long engagements have given way to shorter ones, and most engagements are announced approximately three to four months before the wedding. Some, however, are announced. Only six weeks in advance and others as far ahead as six to twelve months.
If possible the fiancé is in the bride's city on the day the newspaper announcement appears said together, the couple may receive the good wishes of friends
The Engagement Ring
The Wise bridegroom lets his bride make the final selection of the engagement ring, often after he has had several in his price range set aside. The bride may, with propriety, express or general preference and suggest that he make his preselection. If the ring is one which has been in the bridegroom's family, the bride may naturally have the stone reset if she wishes. The wedding ring is often selected at the time the engagement ring is chosen.
Acknowledging the Welcome into the Groom's Family
The bride and her parents returned the visit of the Groom's parents if they live in the same city and reply promptly to letters received. Should the grandparents come from a distance to visit, the bride's parents usually create an occasion to introduce them to relatives and close friends. If the gross parents invite the bride to visit them, she naturally accepts the imitation, if possible.
It sometimes happens that the bridegroom's parents are not aware that traditionally
it is they who make this first welcoming gesture by calling on or riding the
bride and her parents. Should they failed to make another jerk, the bride and
her mother should look upon this apparent slight as unintentional. After a reasonable
lapse of time, the bride's mother may make the first gesture with a reserved
but gracious, well-planned and tactful note or telephone call. The important
thing is to establish at the outset, a warm relationship between the two families.
Just how this is accomplished matters little and it may be the bride herself
to take the initiative.
Initial Plans and Major Decisions.
In planning your wedding, remember that it is above all a sacred and personal occasion. There are formalities and conditions of correct wedding procedure which you will naturally wish to observe. Yet, within this framework, there is room for such variation as your individual preference and local and church customs may dictate. It is wise to have a brief conference with your clergyman at the outset before making definite plans.
It is well to keep in mind that the this is truly your day of days, closely involves many others -- your parents, the bridegroom, his parents and the friends you include your wedding party. He be considered of them as you proceed with your planning, and your wedding will be a happy occasion for everyone concerned. Have family discussions. Consult your bridegroom. Draw his mother into your plans -- by doing so, you will endear yourself to her. And be prepared to make a concession here and there, while maintaining quietly and steadily your prerogative to make your own decisions -- after sifting all the leading advice you will find everyone set eager to give.
Of paramount importance to you now as your plan of action. But before you begin working on specific details, you and your mother will want to decide definitely on any of the following questions which may be unsettled:
If all this matters have been settled, you're ready to proceed to the next chapter
and begin charting your course of action. If not, for assistance in making decisions,
you will want to refer to the various chapters which cover many of these questions
in detail. The index in the back of the book will enable you to locate information
readily. Your consultant will help you solve any knotty problems, which may
arise, help you perfect your individual ideas and so many new ones which might
not occur to you.
In the meantime, here are a few thoughts which may prove helpful.
How Much Can You Spend?
You're fortunate indeed, if you parents have said, you may have just what you want, but the cost of your wedding doesn't matter. But if, like many bride, you have or have been given a set amount to cover everything, now is the time to get out your pencil and paper and begin to work on your budget.
How you a proceed depends not only on the capacity of the family pocketbook to finance this event also upon your personal preference. A girl with a large income often prefers to have a far simpler and less costly wedding than would be indicated.
As you plan, do remind yourself constantly that it is not the actual sum of money spent, but how it is spend it is important. And acceptance of what you have any resolution to make the most of it, keeping your wedding well within your family circumstances, are the first essentials. Spend the most, where it matters most to you, your personal trousseau may receive a larger portion of your money; your household to so may be of greater importance to you; with the major portion of your budget may be allotted to your wedding and reception.
Regardless of your budget, there's one sack to keep in mind. If you have always been of being married in a wedding gown and veil, don't compromise here. It isn't necessary. Today, there are beautiful gowns to fit your budget and a matter how little you may have to stand, and the cost of a formal wedding need not skyrocketed simplicity is the keynote.
With your general plans in mind, list approximate and your for your bridal costume, the wedding reception, personal trousseau, household trousseau, allowing for miscellaneous expenditures which are sure to arise. Actual expenditures can be listed later after you have obtained the various estimates. The following list may be of assistance in setting up your budget:
Responsibilities of the Bride and Her Parents
Although the larger part of the wedding expenses falls upon the bride's family, here are the responsibilities of the bridegroom, and his parents. If your bridegroom is wise, he, too, will visit the store's consultant for a conference. Friendly, practical advice on budget problems is often as welcome to the bridegroom, as it is to the bride.
Responsibilities of the Bridegroom, and His Parents.
How Many Guests Will Be Invited
How many bride have sold their weddings and reception for one to be small, only to discover when all the list were prepared that there were 300 friends and relatives who just had to be invited! This problem, in varying degrees, is one practicality that every bride and her parents face.
So before deciding where your wedding and reception will take place, be sure the space will accommodate all the people you, your parents and the bridegroom, and his parents will want to invite. One solution is to include more guests at either wedding or at the reception, depending upon the space available. If the bridegroom and his parents live in a distant city worth many of your invitations will be sent out-of-town, you naturally can invite a larger number of guests than space will accommodate, as many will be unable to attend.
Where Will You Be Married
The usually there is one place, far more suitable for your wedding than any other, so this is an easy decision to make after first having had a conference with the clergyman. Most brides from the time they were small girls have had a secret desire for a church wedding. Such a ceremony seems blessed with a special solemnity and beauty. If you decide to be married in church, the only question is whether the ceremony will be performed in the church or in the chapel. A small chapel is an ideal setting for both small formal and informal weddings, and so is the village church near the family summer home. The bride's own church is usually selected, if facilities are more adequate in some other church, the ceremony may often be held there with perfect propriety.
For many young women there is a deep and cherished significance attached to taking this important step in life at home amid surroundings, which are deer and familiar. An old spacious house with a winding stairway and gracious rooms is a beautiful background for the ceremony, and even an apartment can make a lovely setting. In fact, any home, be it large or small, may become a frame of considerable beauty.
Hotels and clubs, become most expert in handling weddings, and I have on hand all the necessary equipment -- canopies, aisle canvas and altars, and since the reception follows such a wedding there is usually no charge made for the space.
The advantage of the home, hotel or club wedding is that but the ceremony and reception are held under one roof, does affording a march saving on the planning time and expense.
This is another decision easily reached. Much depends upon the custom in your community and in your particular church.
Will Your Wedding Beat Formal, Semiformal or Informal
You may be married formally, semiformally or informally, whether in church, or at home, or in a hotel or club. The wedding custume you choose to wear and the attire worn by the men are the main determining factors in establishing the degree of formality.
Over the years there has been little change in the accepted routine to be followed in planning a formal wedding. Implicit in the word formal is a greater degree of elaborateness, though paradoxically, the formal wedding may be simple to the extreme. The formal wedding is invariably followed by a reception, large or small.
There are many degrees of formality ranging from the ultra formal wedding undertaken by those whose way of life that reflects, to the semiformal, preferred by some brides because it often poses the lease problem concerning the attire, the men will wear.
The informal wedding can anybody great dignity and charm, and affords tremendous latitude in choice of time, place, wedding costume and ceremonial detail. The "dressed up" informal white or pastel wedding can be impressively beautiful, and is ideal for the bride who doesn't want all the fanfare, but still want a real wedding. It costs very little more than a strictly formal wedding and can be followed by a little luncheon, supper or a small celebration at which only punch, sandwiches and wedding cake are served.
The informal wedding, while never as costly as the formal nor has rigidly cast in a set pattern, must still be just as perfect and concept and smooth in performance. No detail is of so little importance that the bride can afford to be casual about it, even though her wedding may be informal in the extreme. There is one problem with the informal wedding almost always creates, if ushers are required, and that is, the young men seldom on appropriate matching business suits.
How Many Attendants
The number of attendants, you choose to have depends upon the number of close friends and relatives you wish to honor as well as upon the size and type of wedding you plan.
An even number of bridesmaids and one honor attendant is the ideal complement. There may be two, four, six, eight, even ten or sometimes twelve bridesmaids. There may be both a maid and matron of honor, won the active, the other is an inactive honor attendant, or honors may be divided between them. An unmarried sister is the logical maid of honor, and married sister, the logical matron of honor. Should your bridegroom have a sister or a young relative of than he is very fond, she should be numbered among your attendants.
You may have one or more junior bridesmaids usually aged from ten to fourteen years.
Small bridal parties are recommended for the home wedding, unless rooms are exceedingly large. Generally, there are only from one to three bridal attendants and an informal wedding, though there may be more, especially if it is a "dressed up" affair. The bride's honor attendant and the best man are the legal witnesses of the marriage, and are usually included in even the smallest wedding.
There should be approximately one usher for every fifty guests. Though it is not necessary to have exactly the same number of ushers as bridesmaids, it is recommended, both for the uniformity at the wedding and fun for every body during the pre-wedding festivities. If you have more or fewer bridesmaids than ushers, the order of the wedding recession can be adapted accordingly. The bridegroom selects his best man and ushers from his own friends. A brother or at least one close relative of the bride should be included. The bridegroom, also appoints the head usher, after first confirming his selection with you. The head usher is usually a relative of the bride or someone who knows the local guests.
Ushers are not absolutely necessary in a small, informal church wedding. However, it is practical to have one or two, and there should be at least one usher at the simplest home ceremony.
Flower girls and ringbearers are included, usually in only the most formal, larger weddings. However, a little girl or boy very dear to you or your bridegroom may be invited to be in even the smallest wedding. One or two flower girls, with or without an honor attendant may be the bride's only attendants. Children should be included in a wedding, because of the bride's desire to have them. From four to six, or sometimes seven, is the ideal age.
Your wedding can be just as beautiful, whether you have thousands to spend
or limit yourself to only a few hundred wisely managed; whether you choose to
have a large formal wedding or a small intimate family affair; whether you select
morning, afternoon or evening as your time; whether the ceremony is performed
at church, home, club or hotel. However, wherever, whenever, there is a proper
way of going about it, and if you have confirmed your general plans with your
clergyman, you are now ready to swing into action.
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